If you haven't already, please take a moment to vote in the poll located over there to the right of this post. In case you are curious (and how could you not be?), these are both headlines from September 14th, 2011. And yes, they are both real.
Gordon Ramsay's Dwarf Porn Double Found Dead In A Badger Den
Nicolas Cage was terrorized by a naked man holding a Fudgesicle