Saturday, August 21, 2010

I was dreaming of the approach of a sound ghost. When I heard it I knew I would be dead.
A gunshot shocked us both from sleep and sent the dog up the pillow, whining and licking my face. When I was fully awake I realized Mark and I were holding hands; our fingers had laced in the dark almost simultaneous to the shot.

I thought that was nice.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Why I can't watch Mad Men

I can't watch Mad Men. I'll admire the clothes and I'll Mad Men myself, but that's as far as it goes. If you want to make some sort of bases analogy, it won't work. I won't make eye contact with Don Draper, let alone allow him to... do whatever it is he does. I hear he gets fresh with the ladies.

Look, I'm curious. Of course I am. I was even ready to watch an episode a few years ago! I was gonna do it and then I saw an AMC special that was all pumped about its return and they were making a HUGE deal over the witty, unparalleled writing and I almost went for it. But they didn't want me to just take their word for it. No, they had to prove it to me. Following a soundbite from the very smug creator, they hit me with this:

"Oh yeah, Billy. And maybe one day there will be a magic machine that makes exact copies of things. HAW HAW HAW!"

I've gotten behind a lot of shitty TV and I was as crazy about the Sopranos and Freaks and Geeks as anybody. And if I'd encountered that line mid-episode, I probably would have groaned and rolled my eyes and forgotten about it. But when you are highlighting the resplendent writing of your fabulous television show, and you choose a line that follows a formula found in any idiotic throw-back comedy... well, you've lost me.

Hey, Mad Men: YA BLEW IT!*

*I am aware I am the only person in America not watching Mad Men. They could give a shit about my vow to avoid the show.