Friday, July 29, 2011


Ever feel like you just won the Internet? 

Well, you were wrong. Because I just won. I won the Internet. 

And for my victory lap:


my favorite graffiti

For those of you not in the Bay Area, 107.7 The Bone is our Rock 'n' Roll radio station. I laugh every single time I see this. I just like to think about the perpetrator of this masterpiece, holding a twig above his or her canvass of wet cement, thinking "This will be here forever. This is my chance at eternity. What do I say? What do I say?" And then, the stick seems to be moving of it's own volition, as though guided by the hand of Yahweh himself and, yes, there it is. 
107.7 ThE BONE. 
I'm pretty sure alcohol was involved.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Top 5 reasons why I should be a frontier woman

1 by unphotographable
I have these boots to wear.
1, a photo by unphotographable on Flickr.

1. I make this face I call my “Strong frontier woman face,” achieved by flexing my jaw and flaring my nostrils a little bit and stretching my neck pretty long. I cannot overemphasize the importance of having a solid “frontier woman” face. When your house is ablaze or your husband’s head is hoofed in by a horse, etc., your family and community will look to you for reassurance.  When they see your nostrils flare ever-so-slightly, your eyes steely and determined, they’ll be like “Cool. Everything will be OK. Let’s start pulling these arrows out of our legs.”

2. I am becoming more adept at putting my hair in braids and pinning them to my head. The better to see my high cheekbones when I flex them.

3. I own some bandanas.

4. I read the Lonesome Dove tetraology and Blood Meridian, so I pretty much know what to expect: I will have to cut my horse’s throat at some point and probably drink the pee from its bladder.

5. I get along well with animals.

A bad reason is I vomit when I get too hot. So, we’ll see. 

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Midnight Confessions

This song by the Grass Roots is amazing. I've been listening to it constantly for the last six months.

What's also amazing is one of the guitar players is Creed from the U.S. Office.

Did I just blow your mind?

Friday, July 22, 2011

Monday, July 18, 2011

Tumblr of the week!

This tumblr of scientific illustrations is right up my alley. I especially like this giraffe skeleton, which is probably what I look like under all this skin.

Friday, July 15, 2011


I guess at this point a Kindle is about as fresh as a walkman, but they no longer cost $400, so I just got one for my birthday. I was hesitant at first (Would I use it? Would I miss the tactile joys of turning the pages of a book?), but as it happens the Kindle and I are perfectly suited to one another. Here's why:

  • My Brain. I am pathetically forgetful. I can go into a library or bookstore, determined to leave with a particular novel, and the moment I step over the threshold, I've completely forgotten it. In fact, I can't remember the title or author of any book I have ever wanted to read. Plus, library and bookstores are something of a laxative for me. I think it is a trauma reaction to the time I pooped in my pants at the library as a kid. I must devote all my powers to locating the restroom, often riding three or four escalators, and by the time all that is finished, I have no idea what I came in for. I wander around for a while, investigate my sign in the astrology section, and leave, with slumped shoulders and a frowny-face. Even if I go in with the title written on my hand, I will have sweated it into a blurry mess by the time I hunt down the restroom. With the Kindle, I can download a book as soon as I decide I want to read it. I can even download from the bathroom, in case the website makes me uncomfortable!
  • Book Paranoia. I am shy about reading in public because I am either embarrassed by the Y.A. novel I'm reading, or because I worry people will think I'm being pretentious and trying to look smart with my copy of Lolita. Instead of dealing with my paranoia, I can now hide what I'm reading from the public. From The Baby-Sitters Club to Balzac, my literary choices stay between me and my Kindle. This secret bond has brought us closer than ever.
  • Fat Books. It's a real pain in the ass to try and carry around a fat book, especially a hard cover. The Kindle is nice and svelte. This also helps if you are trying to read while you eat. You can lay the Kindle flat on the table or in your lap and use both hands to stuff your face, as you were meant to. 
  • No One Is Losing. The sad, honest truth is that I wasn't patronizing independent bookstores to begin with (or many bookstores at all. Because of, you know, the pooping), so they're not losing a customer. Wow, that sounds awful. But it's the truth, and at least this way I am reading, instead of hovering outside the window of a bookstore, feeling my bowels clench, and running away.
  • I Am Reading! And reading and reading and reading! That's what it's all about, right? I don't think I've read like this since I was a kid and it makes me so happy.
  • It Asked for My Hand in Marriage. You guys! I can finally reveal that the Kindle and I are getting married! We're planning an autumn wedding. You guys!!!!!

So buy a Kindle! Or don't. But it's about time you started thinking about settling down, and look what it did for me!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


Funky Nut

10 things as tall as me

1. Industrial Rubber Band

2. Two Yard Sticks

3. Bubble Tape

4. Amazon River Dolphin

5. The Average South African Earthworm

6.Varanus bitatawa (From the 2011 Top 10 New Species List!)

7. A Grave

8. Six $5 Foot-Longs at Subway

9. A Fruit & Vegetable Cart (standing up on its side)

10. Godiva Wig at Lacey Wigs.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The Worst Thing I Heard: At A Restaurant

"Can we get our check? We need the drinks on one tab, and then everything else on four different tabs. Ohmygosh thank you so muuuuuuch!"

INSIDER TIP: Saying "Thank you!" doesn't negate the complete asshole-ness of your request. :)

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy Fourth!

My favorite president, Baberaham Lincoln. Ugh, I would kill for that body!