Saturday, January 7, 2012

Overheard in the ladies room after seeing "Shame"

Lady 1: That was so good! Oh my god I loved it. Did you love it?

Lady 2: I loved it!

L1: You know who would really love it?

L2: Who?

L1: Matthew!

L2: Oh yeah, he would just love it.

L1: You know who that guy reminded me of? John Hamm.

L2: Huh?

L1: You know, the guy from Mad Men? Don Draper? Can you pass me some toilet paper, this stall is all out.

L2: Sure, hon.... I don't know, I don't really see it. He is very handsome, though.

L1: Oh yes, he's VERY handsome.

L2: VERY handsome! I probably would have had sex with him too, ha ha!

L1: Nooo. You wouldn't!!!

L2: No, I wouldn't. He looks pretty old, though. He's supposed to be like 37 but he looks 47!

L1: Still, he's very good-looking.

L2: Oh yes, VERY good-looking!

Me: Is his penis huge or what?!

L2 & L2: [Silence. Then toilets flushing. Then quick footsteps.]

Me: You forgot to wash your haaaaaands!!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Important Movie News!

Grown-Ass Lady

I got all dressed up for New Year's Eve in a 40's style dress, and I really liked it. "I should dress like this all the time," I thought. "I should stop wearing t-shirts and jeans and Chuck Taylors all the time everywhere and start dressing like a grown-ass lady."
Then I realized how much effort that would take and decided to keep dressing like a 19-year-old.