For the past five years or so I have been eating natural, organic peanut butter which, let's face it, is more like peanut soup! Or, if it's got to be butter, it's like the butter you leave on top of the hot oven to soften and you forget about it and it melts everywhere and later starts a small fire!! So the other day I broke down and I was like THAT'S IT! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! And I marched up the hill to the regular grocery store and I bought a jar of Skippy, even though I had almost a full jar of organic kind in the fridge. It was so good! I felt a little bad buying it when I already had some. It's not a big deal, though, because I am almost done with the sugary, creamy peanut butter of my youth and I'll be back on the "good" stuff in no time. Plus I get that organic shit for free at work after it's expired.
UPDATE: I brought the Skippy to work (I don't like making PB&J sandwiches in advance because the jelly seeps through the bread and it becomes a disgusting and gelatinous mess and somehow always looks like someone sat on it). I took it out of my bag during lunch and was like "BOOM, bitches! In your faces! Skippy, uuuuh! Skippy! UHHHHH!" like I was Master P and everyone agreed they were very jealous of me. Not just because of my peanut butter but because I am so pretty and smart and funny and popular and skinny! And because of the peanut butter, too.