I initially thought I could have the occasional sweet when the three weeks are up. But that's not the way it works. An addiction doesn't reset. I will need just as much sugar or more, have the same cravings and find myself with an empty box of Oreos wondering what the fuck happened. So I have to say goodbye forever.
I don't know if I want to do that.
I already feel like a teetotaling drag. What fun to be the girl that doesn't drink, do drugs, or eat sugar! It is in EVERYTHING. In the beverages I like to drink, every snack I pick up. And I wonder, do I want a life without the pleasure of having a cupcake or a chocolate malt? Is that any kind of life?
When someone asks that question regarding alcohol, the answer is so clear. I feel kind of bad for them because they don't even realize how liquor rules and ruins their lives. It must be so for sugar, too. Because it's not pleasurable when I have to eat all the cupcakes or steal handful after handful of candy at work. I can't stop anymore, even when I want to. Even when I know I am going to be miserable and guilty the next day or in a few minutes. But will I be miserable without sugar, too?