Why James Gandolfini Matters

"The success of The Sopranos inspired HBO to take chances on questionable projects that dealt with hot-button social issues (The Wire) and moribund genres like the western (Deadwood). And its critical and commercial success drew other networks into the game: FX and AMC used the proof that original programming could sell to build their brand and turn into powerhouses in their own right.... Without The Sopranos, there’s no New Golden Age of Television. And without James Gandolfini, there’s no Sopranos.... The anti-hero became an archetype because of Tony Soprano and the stunning work that James Gandolfini did. He showed what a great actor could do in a heretofore-disreputable medium. He spawned an entire generation of memorable characters, sympathetic creeps like Vic Mackey, Al Swearengen, Walter White, and Don Draper." - Sonny Bunch, The Washington Free Beacon

The Jam - Going Underground

You've made your bed

You'd better lie in it

Some New/Old Stuff

I tend to be pretty behind the times when it comes to music. I've never really known how to wade through all the shit to find flecks of gold, and have often relied on others to take me by the hand and lead me straight to the good stuff. I also really like music from bygone eras and mostly listen to hits from the 50's-80's, so when I finally catch wind of something new and amazing, it's usually blown up. And then I feel like I've missed the bus and I'd be a poseur and jumping on the bandwagon if I started listening, so I just watch everyone go by on the Cool Music float in the Parade of Life and wave to them. That's a lot of vehicle metaphors. 

One such artist was Amy Winehouse. I was into her singles, and it was obvious she had incredible talent, but I never bought her albums. And now the poor girl is gone. That's another thing. Most of the musicians I like are dead. (Just like my celebrity crushes. I'm so goth!) I finally bought Back to Black and what the FUCK?! Why did I wait so long? It is so perfect. It's the best break-up album for someone getting out of a really sick relationship. It gives me an ache that's like pinching a bruise. In particular I've been listening to Back to Black on repeat for two or three weeks. Oh Amy. I died 100 times. 

There wasn't really room for country music in our house. My parents like rock n roll--they both saw Jimi Hendrix, my mom watched Jim Morrison swing over the crowd on a rope at a Doors concert, my dad would go see Springsteen when he still played bar gigs. So they were a couple of rockers (and also had a soft spot for smooth music but that's another story), and I guess I followed in their footsteps because my musical interests are pretty much that of a 60 year old man. I think if there was a mirror that reflected your spiritual self I would look like ZZ Top. 

Still, I'm surprised I was never exposed to any country music (except some Garth Brooks at weddings), not even Johnny Cash. In the last decade I've become somewhat enamored with classic country, like Patsy Cline and Hank Williams and Willie and Waylon and that one Conway Twitty song where he's singing all soft and then he's like "IT'S BEEN A LONG TIIIIIIME." And now I'm exploring some of that newer stuff hat pays homage to the greats. Part of my new weird country thing is watching Nashville (because Connie Britton is a goddess). They featured Emmylou by First Aid Kit tonight and I've already downloaded it and listened to it a bearzillion times. I am a huge sucker for a steel guitar, and I love that it's about finding a partner, someone to inspire you and make you better. Not even necessarily in a romantic way (I could be wrong, but I don't think Emmylou and Gram were ever more than friends?). It's a really lovely song and you should give it a listen. 

The Cruise

I found this when I googled "Tampons Cruise Ship."

I was afraid to use a tampon until I was a sophomore in college, when my family went on a cruise over the Christmas holiday. My sister and I were sharing a cabin, and I told her I couldn't go swimming. When she found out why she gave me a fist-full of tampax and trapped me in the bathroom. I tried to get out but she leaned all her weight into her shoulder and kept the door pinned shut.

"Do it," she said.

At least that's how I remember it.

This post is brought to you by me getting my period  Every. Single. Christmas.

Last Minute Halloween Costumes, 2012 Style

I decided to help you out again this year, slacker. 

PSY, Gangnam Style Music Video

Duh. I have a feeling PSY look-alikes are going to be riding their imaginary steeds all over the country this year. So you're not going to stand out in your blue tuxedo jacket and bowtie and shades, but you at least know in ten years you can look back on the pictures you took this holiday and wonder what the fuck you were supposed to be. For the pros: Get one of your friends to dress as the guy in the yellow suit, and your other friend to dress as humpy-humpy guy in the elevator. You could also ask someone to precede you with a giant fan and spray trash in your face all night.

Maddie The Coonhound, Maddie on Things

To truly capture the essence of Maddie the Coonhound, you're going to have to focus more on your energy and state of mind than your physical props.  You can make a quick dog costume by cutting out some floppy dog ears (you can use felt or brown paper or even a paper bag!) and tape them to a headband, and paint a dog nose on your human nose, and make a tail and wear a collar. Then all night, be very patient, and polite, and climb up to very high, precarious, unexpected places and just stay there. For the pros: This would work really well if you have lots of sunspots on your skin. 

 Brandon, Shame

Dress really sharply, comb your hair neatly, speak with just the barest hint of an Irish accent. Also get a huge fake dong and hang it out of your open fly. The girls will love it. For the pros: FUCK EVERYTHING. 

Hannah Horvath, Girls

Strip on down to your birthday suit and be kind of awful to everyone. Don't forget your cupcake! For the pros: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT go to the bathroom alone or let your bffs go to the bathroom alone! This includes doing number ones and number twos and also bathing. Don't forget your cupcake!

The Higgs Boson, The Beginning of Space and Time

Pipecleaners. For the pros: More pipecleaners. 

HALLOWEEN DON'T!

Hey Mom, I'm going to be a fucking toadstool for Halloween.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(If you really want your kid to look like a stupid mushroom you can buy this at Pottery Barn Kids. But I wouldn't recommend it!)

They've got my vote